I hoped she would come early. The entire pregnancy felt so much longer than it actually was. The days were defined by what I ate, finding spots on my sore fingers to prick, and waiting an agonizing few seconds for the forsaken number to pop up on the little screen. I had never worked so hard in my life to make sure what was going into my body was working to my benefit, to her benefit. But in the last days of pregnancy when all you really want to do is lay down, take deep breaths, and wait for your world to change, managing blood sugar is not ideal.
It's hot outside. There are birds perched on the telephone wire that is in line with the view from my window. It's bright and blue outside, and evidence of summer rests on the back of my neck and the place where my skin meets my hair. A matted mess. It's nowhere near Christmas time. But… Continue reading The Joy Set Before us
A couple of years ago, I think God told me to write a book. I say that, but I don't always know what that means. What I do know is that my scattered thoughts have made the most sense when they've been laid out on a page. I open up my head and my heart like a box of puzzle pieces and dump them onto the blank white space. Some need to be turned over and straightened out. We definitely need to start with the edge and corner pieces. And, when it's just about done, we'll go back in and fill in the missing places with the aha! pieces that were right in front of our faces the entire time.
"This is one of those things," he said. I wasn't sure what he meant but I cocked my head to the side, inclining an ear, offering him to explain why the piles and piles of dishes in the kitchen were one "one of those things". "Whenever I see this," he continued, "I think, man that… Continue reading Dirty Dishes
Two months ago I swung on a porch swing in the 70 degree, crispy California morning air. I took deep, sultry breaths. I smiled toward the busy hummingbird, who smiled back in his own way. I breathed a certain goodbye. Not that I'd never be back, but never back to that particular town as it… Continue reading Rooftop Perspective
I sat slumped over on the hardwood floor. The sun was shining in slanty lines across the corner of the house that wasn’t in boxes. I stared there instead of the top of the staircase, where the life we built over the past three years - the one built up of 22 years of two… Continue reading Beautiful Grief